The Sun square Mars synastry connection offers no shortage of passion or ambition fuel in relationships. Sparks can and will fly in this relationship, especially if the aspect has a tight orb. There’s an undeniable sexual and physical attraction that pulls them together. This magnetic connection can also lead to frequent petty arguments, combativeness, and annoyance over time if not properly managed.
Effectively channeling the kinetic energy requires compromise, maturity, and constant upkeep of mutual understanding from both parties. With care, attention, and intention, Sun and Mars can achieve incredible things together when not focused on provoking or one-upping each other.
Use the tips in this article to turn competitiveness into healthy inspiration and drama into increasing intimacy. Drawing from real-life examples with clients, I’ve broken down everything you need to know about having Sun square Mars in a relationship.
What the Sun Person Sees in the Mars Person
The Sun person is often immediately drawn in by Mars’ raw charisma and magnetism. The Sun feels enchanted and enticed by Mars’s boldness, aggression, and go-getting drive.
The Sun admires Mars’ initiative to pursue what they want directly without hesitation. However, over time, as arguments arise, the Sun person may start to view Mars as overly forceful, pushy, dominating, and antagonistic. The Sun feels like Mars is always charging ahead at full speed without considering their needs or input.
For example, Lucy felt an instant attraction to Brandon’s daring and adventurous spirit when they first met. His willingness to take risks and put himself out there initially thrilled her. However, as time passed in their relationship, she started to see his impulsiveness as reckless and selfish. Brandon would book trips or make plans without asking Lucy what she wanted to do. She felt like he was always bulldozing over her opinions and desires in his quest to satisfy his restless Mars drive.
What the Mars Person Sees in the Sun Person
On the other hand, when the Mars person first meets the Sun individual, they are drawn to the Sun’s radiant confidence, purpose, and leadership abilities. The Sun seems to take charge and naturally emits an energy that captivates Mars.
However, as tensions surface in the relationship over time, Mars starts to view the Sun person as overly self-centered, egoistic, authoritative, condescending, and too full of themselves. To Mars, the Sun comes across as self-righteous and presumptuous, always thinking they know best and being unwilling to compromise.
For Example: “When Isabelle first started dating Luis, she loved his bold sense of identity and purpose. He seemed so sure of himself and his direction in life. It inspired Isabelle to become more confident in pursuing her dreams too.
However, the more time they spent together, his cocksure attitude started to feel arrogant and domineering to Isabelle. She felt like Luis dismissed her opinions and looked down on her for not being as certain about what she wanted to do career-wise. His preachy advice started to come across as condescending rather than empowering.”
Aspect Strengths
Despite the interpersonal challenges, Sun Square Mars synastry has strengths that can help hold the relationship together. The passion and sexual chemistry between Sun and Mars is frequently off the charts. This influences a physical magnetism and attraction with an almost destined quality.
Sun and Mars also inspire each other to be more courageous and empowered to pursue their dreams and fight for their desires. The drive within both people surfaces in each other’s presence. When focused on a shared goal outside the relationship, Sun square Mars can be an unstoppable force of energy and action toward achieving anything they set their minds to.
The dynamic tension keeps boredom at bay in the relationship, too. Sun and Mars have lively conversations and interactions full of sparring, debates, and intensity. Whether clashing or bonding, there is always an undercurrent of excitement together.
For Example: “Adriana and Mateo’s fiery personalities often led to blowout arguments—however, their making up after fights was just as passionate. The intense attraction and sex life sustained them through tense periods. When not pitted against each other, Adriana’s enterprising Sun helped build up Mateo’s confidence to start his own company. Their shared ambition drove them to work hard toward buying their dream home together, too.”
Aspect Challenges
The Sun and Mars both have dominating energies that refuse to submit to the other. Neither one likes relinquishing influence over the direction of the relationship or even joint decisions. They get stuck in rigid assumptions about gender roles and who should lead.
Both individuals may feel threatened by each other and feel the need to one-up each other. Their egos can feel fragile and easily aggravated around one another, leading to excessive conflict over who is right or the authority on any given issue.
Even though Sun and Mars are attracted to each other’s feisty spirit initially, the constant head-butting and quarrels become exhausting over time. The drama starts to feel tedious and purposeless after a while.
These two may operate at vastly different speeds, rhythms, and styles. What energizes one depletes the other. The impulsive Mars agrees to more activities and social engagements than the Sun can comfortably handle while the Sun feels too overbearing and commanding of Mars’ freedom.
Clients Kai and Leila’s competitive natures fueled their real estate careers well but caused havoc in their romantic relationship. Kai always scrutinized Leila’s ideas and made her feel inferior. When Leila succeeded over Kai, he would find ways to downplay her accomplishment. Their fights turned ugly, and both made nasty, below-the-belt remarks. The constant head-to-head collisions left no energy for affection or quality time.
Tips for the Sun Person
While your leadership comes naturally, don’t let it cross over into oppressive control over Mars. Leave Mars room for independence and respect their need for freedom of action. Your Mars partner’s bravado will inevitably trigger your ego at times. However, resist the urge to puff yourself up defensively or get into overblown righteous arguments. Oppose Mars’ force with poised, confident strength of character rather than aggressive counterattacks.
Appreciate that much of the passion and motivation in the relationship stems from Mars’ enterprising drive. Validate their ideas rather than dismissing them or needing to direct everything your way. Compliment Mars on their effort and gumption even if their execution needs adjustment.
Make time for enjoyable, low-stress activities together outside pressurized work and achievement domains. Have fun together away from the competitive environment that breeds antagonism between you two.
On projects where your goals or values align, let Mars take the lead in actively making progress happen while you strategize the overarching vision and direction. As a team, you can accomplish great things with Mars executing the Sun’s agenda.
Clients Caleb noticed that lecturing his girlfriend, Wendy, only made her rebel more. Instead, he started giving her more freedom to do activities her way. When she accomplished something and was proud, he would praise her initiative which lifted her confidence. He also planned relaxing camping trips where they could escape their hectic lives and bond.
Tips for the Mars Person
Learn to identify when your innate intensity comes across as domineering rather than charmingly courageous. Reign in dictatorial demands or hostile outbursts and channel that energy into defending mutual interests rather than attacking.
The Sun moves more deliberately and strategically than your hurried Mars energies. Resist urges to rush the Sun, instead making an effort to operate at their rhythm sometimes rather than always pulling them along to keep up with your rapid speed.
You are often so intent on acting quickly that you miss vital information and perspectives. Slow down your mental churn enough to fully absorb what the Sun is saying without interrupting. This will prevent many arguments down the line.
Swallowing your pride to acknowledge the Sun’s wisdom and skill at heading joint endeavors will earn their respect. Having the merit of your contributions recognized is still important, but don’t turn everything into a cockfight over who should lead.
Schedule regular alone time or give each other space after arguments to decompress. Forcing interaction when your competitive egos are inflated often escalates tensions rather than resolves anything. Step away to gain proper perspective.
For Example: Adina used to bulldoze over her boyfriend’s preferences which made him withdraw and stonewall in retaliation. She started giving Ethan more of a say in decision-making. When he provided guidance on her projects, she thanked him for the insightful input instead of resisting his authority.
My Experiences Counseling Sun Square Mars Synastry Clients with Examples
I had one Sun Square Mars couple, Sophie (the Sun) and Neil (Mars), who ran rival PR firms specializing in crisis management for high-profile figures like politicians and celebrities. Their professional lives amplified their egos and adversarial communication styles.
In private, though, past betrayals made both reluctant to express insecurity or reveal emotional wounds. This made resolving conflict through openness feel near impossible. They came to me exhausted by the constant battles. I helped them establish rules of fair engagement in arguments and identify shared life goals to unite them. Sophie worked on being less autocratic, and Neil practiced listening without becoming defensive.
Another client couple, Maggie (Sun) and Devon (Mars), were both Ivy League physicians intensely dedicated to their careers. Devon ran the hospital’s emergency department with military efficiency while Maggie headed up internal medicine. At home, this Sun square Mars tension perpetuated with Maggie micromanaging their schedules, finances, and social life together while Devon obsessively focused only on work.
They had lost sight of what brought them together – a shared love of travel, mystery novels, and Italian food. I guided them to carve out tech-free, intimacy-building time together each week to reconnect as lovers and friends, not just ambitious competitors. Devon planned recreational adventures while Maggie handled logistics. Together, they remembered their compatibility.
Belinda (Sun) and Rafael (Mars) had that intoxicating Sun square Mars chemistry and a tempestuous breakup/makeup cycle playing out. The slightest irritation would escalate into a blowout fight between them.
Walking on eggshells, trying not to trigger the next outburst, exhausted them both, but they struggled, resisting each other’s magnetic pull. I established ground rules about fighting fairly. We identified mutual goals they stayed unified on during clashes, such as co-parenting their young daughter. Over time, as communication patterns improved, shorter skirmishes segued into longer-loving reunions.
The work is never completely done for Sun square Mars partnerships but,. as many of my clients demonstrate in the long run, with ample doses of love, open communication, and forced calmer interludes, the joy can outweigh the turmoil.
