Mars square Lilith synastry can create serious passion as well as ongoing challenges in a relationship. A constant battle of wills can result from this aspect, yet an undeniable attraction also exists.
The strengths of this square aspect can outweigh its pitfalls with self-awareness, intentional communication, and seeking support when needed. But, left unaware of unhealthy relating patterns, potential toxicity can erode the union of Mars and Lilith’s once magnetic pull toward each other. I hope these insights from experience prove helpful for you navigating your own Mars Square Lilith connections!
What the Mars Person Sees in the Lilith Person
The initial attraction to their Lilith lover feels irresistible and immediate. Sparks fly from that very first conversation or encounter when their passionate Martial energy locks onto the Lilith person’s vibe.
To Mars, Lilith seems enticing yet also challenging. Lilith conveys independence, mystique, and sexuality in a way that compels Mars to want to conquer or solve her. But as soon as Mars thinks they’ve captured Lilith’s essence, they slips away in that signature Lilith fashion. This dance goes on, but over time, it can frustrate Mars and make them never fully feel in control.
What the Lilith Person Sees in the Mars Person
Lilith perceives Mars as super aggressive energy right from the start. Even the most subtle or innocent actions from Mars can poke at Lilith’s sensitivity. They see Mars as trying too hard to dominate, rule, solve, or fix them when they prizes her independence above all else.
Lilith can appreciate and even enjoy Mars’ straightforward attempts to connect. Yet they also feel irritated when Mars keeps aiming to get through her many layers of self-protection. So Lilith alternatively pulls Mars close and then retreats, which confuses and riles up Mars even further.
Aspect Strengths
Despite their ongoing tussle for control, a Mars Square Lilith partnership’s passion and chemistry always remain on high voltage. When they ignite their sexual intimacy, fireworks explode. During their frequent arguments, their physical and emotional connection, although dysfunctional, keeps them coming back for more. For two independent spirits who relish intensity and abhor boredom, their dynamic relationship certainly won’t ever feel dull!
When Mars and Lilith give into their vulnerabilities for brief windows of time to open up and truly see each other, they create pockets of intimacy that feel freeing to them both. By exercising their natural courage, they can build trust and honesty in spurts. If continuing to bond in this manner, over time, their once rigid edges soften and meld together beautifully.
Aspect Challenges
Power struggles can erupt from the tension of being both irresistibly drawn yet struggling to match in pace. An ongoing battle brews, with Lilith rejecting Mars’ natural dominance and Mars then trying all the more forcefully to control Lilith. Their dynamic grows toxic when carrying on like this unchecked.
Unless Mars and Lilith choose to do their inner shadow work, communicating with compassion and supporting each other’s autonomy—they can fall into dysfunctional patterns. Like caged animals unaware of how to process and support each other healthfully, destructive behaviors manifest as simmering cauldrons of resentment that eventually boil over explosively.
The tendency for jealousy, mind games, spiteful manipulation, or even violence greatly increases without their conscious healing work together. I’ve sadly witnessed cases where these destructive tendencies overtake couples under this square’s spell when left to their own devices without seeking help.
Tips for the Mars Person
Give your Lilith partner plenty of personal space and autonomy. Accept that her layers remain a mystery for you to appreciate versus solve. Share your feelings openly and make requests gently versus demands. Seek first to understand where Lilith is coming from when tensions arise. This helps diffuse arguments turning explosive.
When your Lilith lover pulls away needing alone time, give her that space knowing her subsequent return renews passion and intimacy. Consider seeking counseling support if you feel locked into bitter power struggles or experience other dysfunction patterns with Lilith.
Tips for the Lilith Person
Explain to your Mars partner that your need for personal space doesn’t correlate to losing attraction or investment to alleviate their worries. When disagreements happen, express what you admire in Mars (initiative taking, problem solving nature) before critiquing their dominance or aggression.
Take responsibility for times your moodiness or indifference feed turmoil without blaming everything on Mars pushing your buttons. Some self-accountability helps. Consider working with a counselor trained in childhood trauma and abandonment issues. Healing old wounds aids in relating to Mars in a healthier manner.
My Experiences Counseling Mars Square Lilith Synastry Clients
I’ve seen the full spectrum of experiences and outcomes with Mars Square Lilith synastry couplings ranging from intensely positive to completely destructive long-term depending on the self-awareness level and intentions of both partners. Those doing personal growth work fair much better in relating consciously versus repeating past dysfunctional patterns.
For example, I counseled Tom and Felicia, a Mars Square Lilith couple struggling with Felicia, often emotionally retreating, which enraged Tom, fueling horrible arguments. Although they cared deeply for each other, both brought their own control issues stemming from difficult childhoods, making negotiating needs challenging.
Through counseling, Tom learned giving Felicia needed space didn’t jeopardize their bond. And Felicia took responsibility for times her reactivity added fuel to their frequent fiery clashes. They both committed to relating with more empathy and autonomy support and tabled the topic of marriage until resolving these tensions. When redirecting energy into self-work versus attacking each other, their dynamic greatly improved, allowing their square’s passion to reignite their sex life.
Another Mars Square Lilith couple, Trevor and Cassie, didn’t invest similar effort into self-aware relating and sadly imploded their relationship. Frequent infidelity, mind games, and fits of jealous rage ultimately led them down an abusive path, impossible to return from in rebuilding broken trust and trauma bonding.
All taking that volatile cocktail of Mars force and Lilith’s secrecies without professional support to relate consciously. They finally separated after Cassie ended up hospitalized. This remains my most extreme case example of Mars Square Lilith synastry turning profoundly dark.
